Real Mom?

“Real Mom?” This is a weird term that I’m not sure I agree with. I’ve been pondering these two words for about a month, and I just don’t feel like this is a fair phrase. I do have two moms, but I have never called either one of them my “real mother” because each one has shaped me into who I am today. Frankly, calling one of them my “real mom” feels like I am neglecting my other mom.

When you look up mother in the dictionary, the first definition is a female parent which, in my opinion, leaves a lot of room for our own interpretation. In fact, this explanation doesn’t say anything about genes, biology, or even about raising a child.

My adoptive mother is the one who flew on a plane all the way to China. She has taught me right from wrong and has been my teacher for most of life. When I was little, she used to pick out my outfits, and now that I am older, she’s helping me grow in my journey with God. It’s been almost 11 years, and a lot of who I am is because of her.

On the other hand, my birth mother gave me life. I have half of her genes, and I probably look a lot like her. But ultimately, she made the heart-wrenching sacrifice; she gave me up, so that I could get the medical help I needed to stay alive. Even though I don’t remember her, I still love her.

Today is Mother’s Day, and this is why I am writing this blog post. I recently read a children’s book entitled, “You’re Not My REAL Mother!” In this book, the little girl told her adoptive mother that she wasn’t her “real mother”, and then, the mother, throughout the story, proceeded to prove of how she was her “real mother” based on her loving actions. However, I did not agree with the mom’s perspective on these two words. In all honesty, everyone has to come up with their own conclusions on how they will view their families.

Nonetheless, the reason I don’t like this term is because of the word real. The antonym of real is fake, false, or imitation. So, basically, I perceive this as calling one mom a “real mom,” which, to me, is indirectly calling the other one false.

To me, both mothers could be considered real because both have made sacrifices, but just in two very distinct ways. Both of them are real, genuine people who have proved their love in different ways. And I don’t think the title has to belong to just one mother.

I am not trying to stir up any disagreements about the term “real mom”.  And, I also realize that my point of view could change, but for right now, I will avoid using the term “real mother” because I don’t feel that it is the most fitting phrase. Happy Mother’s Day to both of my moms!